Romney for President 2016

I support Mitt Romney’s run for President in 2016! Why? Remember the circus that was the presidential election in 2012? This was probably the most entertaining election of all time. Romney’s gaffs rivaled those of our legendary Vice President Biden’s in every way. With the collaboration of Fox News and Romney’s “corn dog” politics, I am sure that the next election will go down in history as the biggest clown circus on the planet.

I Don’t Like Mens Anymore

“I don’t like mens no more.”

“I will love a women.”

I’m all for people changing their lives on their own terms, but I just don’t think this was truly a good decision. He not even comfortable using the word women and dating in the same sentence hence the incorrect usage. What straight man you know has to say women five damn times to prove his love of the opposite sex? And I know there are some gay people out there a little pissed that he generalized gay men as wearing purses and makeup. WTH? Did you notice that he started speaking as if he were possessed when talking about “mens“?

Life is a damn circus yall!

Breastfeeding Your Pets


I ran across this nonsense on Facebook and was immediately disgusted with the image of a woman breastfeeding a dog. I am an advocate for breastfeeding, and even breastfeeding in public, but feeding a pup from your own tit is just a little too much. Please don’t tell me you guys agree with this. I was more disturbed that those who commented on the video thought this was acceptable.

Common Responses:

“A mother nurturing a baby. We humans drink milk from animals. Whats the difference here?”

“If y’all think that’s weird what about us drinking cow or & goats milk but that puppy is sucking the shit out off breast though…”

“For all we know, this is a dumped new born pup. Perhaps this was the only way to feed the pup? Besides…we drink cows milk. But I suppose that is ok? And, yes, she could have expressed into a bowl, but a young pup like this may not have been able to drink from a bowl. Perhaps she could have used an eyedropper. It’s hardly THAT offensive though guys. Look around.”

Homeless But Balling Out in Brand New Car!

As someone who believes in giving to the less fortunate, I accept the fact that my money may not be spent on food. Sometimes you give and say that you’ve done your part and let it go. Well, the humble giver in the video above was just fed the hell up with being scammed on a daily basis by a woman who was “balling out of control” in her 2014 ride.

There are mixed opinions about this video. Some think the guy shouldn’t have confronted the old lady, while others were highly offended that her ass was scamming people. Personally, I wouldn’t have approached the lady, but I do understand his frustration. You have people working their asses off everyday while “home-chick” sits outside with a damn sign having money just handed to her.

It’s also important for people to know that many of these homeless folks have government assistance including food stamps. So although they are asking for food, they might have a ‘frige packed with food while you chilling at the house with Ramen Noodles.

Sometimes it is better to donate to organized charities than people on the street because at least you have an idea of what cause you are supporting.

Why did you shoot me?

Why did you shoot me?

It seems that after many of these shootings that involve a white cop and a black person, there are those who are ready to justify the actions of the cop. Well, just from looking at this video, exactly how can you rationalize the officer’s actions?

This person was stopped for a seat-belt violation as he pulled into a gas station. If you can tell, the dude wasn’t aware that the police was following him until he was asked for his driver’s license. Now when complying with the officer, he quickly reached into his vehicle for the requested item, to be shot four times when he returned, with his wallet in his hand.

Are you still wondering whether this shooting was justified? What about after the victim was shot two more times while his hands were up with his wallet in his hand? Can that at least be factored in to your justification for this man being shot…in broad day light?

I understand that plight of police officers. My mother was a police officer for twenty years and I was scared for her everyday that she walked on shift. However, there has to be some sort of training provided for these officers who are scary as shit every time a person tries to quickly comply with a request.

Popular Idiotic Justifications

1. He shouldn’t have dove into his car: well, since he anxiously reached into his car to comply with the officers demand, he deserves to be shot four times? (eye roll)

2. Well all officers know that black men commit most violent crimes: the problem here is…he was stopped for a seat-belt violation as he pulled in to a gas station. So, does this justify being shot four times? Furthermore, just because there are black criminals, you can’t possibly criminalize an entire population of people. Only idiots say shit like this!

3. Cops must protect themselves: From seat-belt bandits? I understand that this is a hard profession, but officers should also understand how to properly assess a situation. There must be some accountability on the officer’s part. We need smarter officers!

4. The officer felt threatened: This also goes to the officer’s ability to think critically in these situations. If he is pulling this man over for a seat-belt violation at a packed gas station, maybe he isn’t about to rob the place, maybe he is about to…purchase gas (who knew). Any how, you don’t shoot first and say you’re scared later.

I want to know your honest opinions regarding this situation! Would you have shot this person twice more after he put his arms up, with his wallet in the air?


Fox News Blames Obama for Ray Rice Elevator Assault

Oh please! Get a clue!

Oh please! Get a clue!


When considering the credibility of Fox News, not much really shocks you. After the complete Ray Rice elevator footage was released, this idiotic host, Andrea Tantaros, wanted to know why Obama didn’t stand up and make a statement.

“I wanna know, where is the President on this one?” and “Why doesn’t he lead?”

You want to know where he is? He’s updating his wardrobe so his suit colors won’t start another conflict with ISIS or conservative republicans with nothing else better to complain about.

Ray Rice was released from the Ravens today when the footage was released. I sincerely believed they should have fired him when the incident occurred instead of suspending him for two weeks.  The footage is quite disturbing. This man should be in jail.


Offensive Wedding March

I am the last person to easily get offended at nonsense, but I do believe at your wedding you must take into account that there will be children present. Your guests also expect that the bride won’t “drop it like it’s hot” while walking elegantly towards her husband to-be.

I enjoy those cute wedding marches where the bridesmaids and groomsmen are appropriately dancing down the aisle with glee. But yall, this woman’s wedding song has some explicit words plus the stripper moves to match.

Circus Act of the Day


Nicki Minaj Bounces Ellen Degeneres Rump in Anaconda

You gotta love Ellen. Twirk that azz Ellen. Twirk!

 Twirk that azz Ellen. Twirk!

Nicki Minaj Bounces Ellen Degeneres Rump in Anaconda Video

My Facebook friends are so awesome! They are always posting the silliest photos and videos that I use here in my personal circus. If you haven’t seen Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda video, check it out in a few posts below.  Those of you who have seen it know that this point in the video is when Nicki is slapping a dancer on her extremely voluptuous ass. That look on Ellen’s face is priceless.

Ellen’s Ass Pads

Ellen, of course being her genuinely funny self, photo shopped herself in this part of the video and it made me choke on my 5 hour energy shot. Y’all, can you imagine Ellen twerking her ass? Not in a million years. But here she is in all of her glory with the booty shorts, and maybe some ass pads tucked in there.

You Just Got To Love Ellen

Although I have no time to tune into her talk show, I love how she highlights the talents of normal people who would have never been asked to be on television. There are just so many great people in the United States and she recognizes that not all are able to have such a nation wide platform. What I have learned from Ellen’s personality is the fact that she can laugh and have fun at our circus acts, and make us smile when our days may not be going as great as we want them to. Go Ellen!

Pretty Little Liars: A Never Ending Addiction

Pretty Little Liars

I’m ashamed to admit that since I have discovered Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, I haven’t been able to binge-watch any other series. I binge watch whatever series has more than one season, which ultimately means there is some substance to the show. After watching the first episode, there was no way I could not stay around to figure out who the hell was the villain “A”.

The show surrounds four teenage girls who are all facing some sort of adversity in their lives after their “friend” disappears, and is later found to be dead. Let me first start off by saying that I didn’t understand the girls’ obsession with finding Allison’s killer, because if I’m honest, Allison was a total bitch who was black mailing half of the town. She was mean to her best friends, and even referred to Hannah as “Hefty Hannah.

These four girls, Hannah, Emily, Aria, and Spencer found themselves distancing after the death of bitchy Allison, because ultimately she held the crew together. However; after a long summer break, and Aria returning from a hiatus in Europe, the girls were reconnected as they bonded over investigating the murder of their…friend.

Let me first state that if you are a fan of fashion, this is the show for you. These teenage girls are wearing thousand dollar boots and flaunting the best outfits I could never afford in high school. It was very obvious that the girls were from privileged families with parents who had very high expectations for their futures. Nothing wrong with that! They live in a very small town, and we all know that small towns have minions who play their roles very well.



My favorite, but most annoying character is Spencer. She is the genius who has a pattern for flirting with her sister’s boyfriends. It never failed, she persistently had an attraction to these men, even though they were considerably older and she was only in high school. Spencer’s history with Allison wasn’t all hugs and kisses, as this blonde little evil tramp habitually blackmailed Spencer about her affairs. Please be reminded that these girls were supposed best friends since middle school.

Spencer was constantly in the middle of everyone’s business. She was a genius and very competitive teenage girl affluent in figuring out conspiracy theories. This chick was relentless. Spencer’s mind is always racing with theories of who murdered her frenemy, even accusing her own relatives for answers. At first she blamed Ian, her brother-in-law, and for a time she thought her own sister was involved in the “A” conspiracy. At the end of the day, Spencer will sell her own family down the river to prove her theories correct. Scary friend to have if you ask me.

In the real world, if my sister murdered a girl that everyone hated, and the police had no suspects, I wouldn’t say a damn word. I’m sorry, but this bitch treated me like shit and then I’m supposed to feel sorry for her after she is wacked? Whatever!



This bitch is the ultimate follower in this little coven of teenagers with nothing better to do but chase conspiracy theories about a bitch who would have sold them into white slavery for a Coke with her name plastered on the front.

Aria is significant because she returned from Europe, went to eat at a bar (yeah, unrealistic for a 16 year old), and ran into Ezra Fitz, a twenty-something high school teacher. Turns out, Ezra becomes Aria’s English teacher at the beginning of the school year. The couple attempted to stay away from each other but were unable because of raging horniness. Only the coven of liars were privy to their relationship throughout the entire first and second season. Oh, well, “A” was privy to her little secret, and often used it against Aria for purposes of blackmail (yes that word again). Their relationship didn’t start to become a dramatic theme until the romance was gone, and Ezra was out of a job for technically being a child molester.

Of all the girls, Aria was the most fashionable. Her father worked as a college professor at Hollice University, and her mother worked at an art gallery for a time; but she ultimately started working at Aria’s school.This was a huge problem because Ezra was screwing her daughter at his apartment almost everyday after school.

The second portion of Aria’s story also included knowing that her father was involved in an extramarital affair before their trip to Europe. Aria confronted her father about the affair and they both made a pact not to tell her mother. This was a disloyal move in my book because I would have sang this news to my mother like a nesting mocking bird. Dads are awesome, but there is just something about a mother’s love. Eventually, A decided to let the cat out of the bag by sending Aria’s mother a letter with the truth. Yeah, “A” was pretty much a pain in EVERYONE’s ass.




The gay character who was outed by “A”. When she started a relationship with the character Maya, she was happy and didn’t care who knew of her carpet munching tactics. When her parents found out, they were furious, but like loving parents, they got over it real quick.

Emily was a little annoying because she chose a relationship with the masculine looking girl who tried to drown her, I might add. You can’t tell me there aren’t other gay girls in high school without anger issues she could have chose. In fact, Emily is the prettiest character on the series.

I found her story line a little sad and boring. She was almost murdered by a psycho dude posing as Maya’s cousin, who tried to stab her while they struggled at the top of a light house. “A”was a bitch to her, but really, I can’t remember what happened in the first seasons because her story line was boring me to pulp. (eye roll)

The girls started receiving text messages from “A”, who was torturing the girls through blackmail. These suburban girls had so many damn secrets throughout the show I caught myself rolling my eyes and asking myself “why in the hell am I watching this?” But of course, I thought after they uncovered the identity of “A”, there would be another story line that wouldn’t make me cringe.




What can I say about Hannah? She was ultimately the cause of all of this bull shit because of her previous social status in school. Before Allison recruited the then “Hefty Hannah”, she and Mona were best friends. However, Hannah desired to be in the it-crowd, so she accepted Allison’s invitation and became a permanent fixture in their group. Unfortunately, Mona wasn’t chosen to be in their little secret society. Throughout the seasons, Hannah dissed Mona on many occasions so she could hang out with her new crowd. I never would have guessed that “A” would have been someone so close, and so affectionate to Hannah.

There were many significant occurrences in Hannah’s story line. Her mother ripped off an old lady in order to support their fancy lifestyle. “A” found out about the money and made their lives a living hell.  Hannah fell in love with a homeless boy who was initially working for “A”. The coven found out that another female on their block was also doing a little manipulating and other eye-rolling moments. We will get to that evil bitch later.

Hannah had a motive to want Allison dead like her other close friends, but she immersed herself in Spencer’s obsession in finding justice as they all did. The accusations and dwelling through people’s personal shit was getting a bit repetitive each episode and yet I continued to watch, waiting to find out who was “A”.




This Mona chick was “A” all along. She played the air head wanna-be popular character, but in actuality, her intelligence rivaled even Spencer’s. I had brief thoughts that it could be Mona in the first place, but I just thought she was too close to Hannah to inflict such torture onto her and her friends. Yep, Mona suffered a psychological break down and attempted to kill Spencer in the woods during a masquerade ball.

Mona was sent to the insane asylum where Hannah, with her retarded ass, decided that it was her duty to visit her ex-best friend for support. The first few visits Mona looked right through Mona as if she weren’t in the room. But after every visit, Mona miraculously improved.

I’m not going through the entire story, but Mona wasn’t crazy, she was just evil and wanted revenge for being left out of the popular group at school. Can you say…shallow as hell? Anyway, now she has been released from the insane asylum and has vowed her loyalty to Hannah and her friends. People are actually buying the innocent routine, but the main characters are aware that she is still full of shit and out for revenge. I am still in the process of watching the series. It is so damn addictive.



Let me quick about this evil bitch! When her character was introduced, she was blind and required a walking cane. Don’t judge me yet because you will hate her too if you start to watch this series.Jenna had every reason to want revenge by making the coven’s lives hell. The four girls in the group through a fire cracker in Jenna’s garage and blinded her because the house caught on fire. Ever since that night, she has been plotting and planning by using other characters to do her bidding. She used Hannah’s boyfriend Kaleb to spy on her because Allison hid a video showing that Jenna and her step-brother Tobi were having an inappropriate relationship. Well, I wouldn’t call it just inappropriate because she blackmailed Tobi into having sex with her. Jenna said that she would tell their parents that Tobi forced himself onto her if he didn’t lay down the pipe. Another eye roll!

Check out the series because I would be writing for hours trying to explain this sick bitch tactics. Eventually, she had eye surgery and was able to see again, but she lied about it for three months. It was utterly ridiculous and I wanted to just claw her eyes out at that point. Like, really, why haven’t they killed you off already?

I’m Addicted and I Hate It

Y’all there is so much bullshit that goes on in this series there is no way to address it in one post. I haven’t even seen all the seasons. I must say this, even though “A” was identified, it was just revealed that there is another gives Mona her orders. So here we go again trying to figure out the conspiracy surroundings these girls. Like really, Allison was the straight up bitch, why in the hell are these “A” ass tards torturing them. So far this has been going on for two years. What is the damn point? But I will be visiting netflix to find out more. (sigh)

John Crawford Walmart Shooting

Walmart Shooting

Murder at Walmart

We have all heard the news regarding the Walmart shooting in which John Crawford, an African American man was walking around the store with a pellet gun that he retrieved from the store shelves. A customer called in to the police and reported that there was a man waving a gun in Walmart. The SWAT team responded in  military gear and confronted the suspect with the alleged deadly weapon. Police report that they demanded the suspect put down the weapon, and he refused…and you know the rest.

Recent News in Walmart Murder

In recent headlines, and after the video was released to the family and their attorney, there is a different story being told. According to surveillance, the “suspect”, John Crawford, was actually leaning on the pellet gun like a cane while he was on his cell phone when confronted by SWAT. Before the “suspect” could turn around and state that the toy/pellet gun wasn’t real, he was gunned down in Walmart. This information was described by the family’s attorney, but the video has not been released to the public. Draw your own conclusions, I could care less.


Open Carry in Walmart…With No Murder!

Not long before this incident, there were 2nd Amendment activists taking part in their right to “open-carry” in Walmart. We have all seen the pictures of the idiots carrying around military weapons to purchase milk. Law enforcement was not notified of this event, and if they did, the SWAT team surely stayed at the precinct sipping hot coffee and eating day old donuts. There were also individuals participating in “open-carry” in restaurants, maybe the cook would ensure their meal was extra hot. The difference in these events, these were white men who were not harassed by the police not once. In contrast, you have an individual who grabbed a toy/pellet gun off the shelves in a store, and instead of considering “open-carry”, the cops only saw an African American male’s backside, a pellet gun, and a cell phone.

Walmart Shooting

Yes really has to protect himself from that Target basket. Wouldn’t want it to roll over his toes.

I hope there are enough sponges to go around.

I hope there are enough sponges to go around.

This is just not necessary but it is their right...not John Crawford's.

This is just not necessary but it is their right…not John Crawford’s.

Covering the Bases: Black on Black Crime

African Americans are faced with adversity in certain communities in which Black and Brown people are taking each other’s lives daily. The communities are blanketed with criminal and drug activity that imprisons residents whose economic strife prevents mobilization. This is presented in this article as there is always that one person who states, “what about black on black crime?” There is a definite problem in communities where young men and women are not aware of the opportunities afforded others and turn to drugs and violence. This is a known problem, so thank you for the reminder in advance. This still does not justify the murder of this individual who basically was armed with a toy in Walmart.

Obama is destroying the country…one tan suit at a time

Yesterday, Obama had the audacity to put this nation’s security at risk when he decided to where a  tan suit at his press conference. Ronald Reagan would have never in his right mind offended the public is such a fashion. Now the Russians and China have raised their terror alerts waiting for an ISIS retaliation because of the president’s choice in wardrobe.


Who started this bull? GOP Rep. Peter King was outraged at the President’s presentation and stated that enemies around the world will never take the US seriously with such a horrendous choice in fashion. He called the President inarticulate and claimed that he doesn’t care about international relations…because he wore his Easter suit.

Actually, most sane people could care less about what Obama wears during a press conference. As long as he doesn’t have on a “wife beater”, sagging pants, and a huge gold chain draped around his neck, I could care less what he wears.



Spontaneous Urination

Sheryl Underwood is my soror and one of the past presidents of our national sorority. Currently she is a host of The Talk. Why in the hell did she think it was pertinent that she inform America that she pisses herself spontaneously is beyond my understanding. I mean think about it. Now, since she has informed the world about her leakage problem, people will always think “Is she pissing right now?”

If I had “pissy leakage problems” from a hysterectomy, there is no way in hell I would share this information to no damn body. People would not know that while I’m working, I’m actually urinating on myself. I empathize with her, and would never wish this condition on anyone, but no one would know about it either.

I hope that the Depends brand is compensating her appropriately, but DAMN! We don’t have to know that you are pissing yourself throughout the damn day.

Beyonce Shuts Down Divorce Rumors

Beyonce Shuts Down Divorce Rumors

The MTV Video Music Awards morphed into the Beyonce Video Music Awards today. There is no shame to admit that I am a huge fan, so it was a real treat for me to see another epic show from the queen. The awards show was just snippets of the On the Run Tour, which I was able to attend. If you have never seen Beyonce or Jay Z live, you are missing out on two epic performers.

Picture provided by MTV Video Music Awards

Picture provided by MTV Video Music Awards

As we all have been bombarded with rumors of divorce and separation, Beyonce and Jay Z so eloquently demonstrated their love for their daughter and one another while she was presented with the Michael Jackson Vanguard Award. Beyonce became emotional and embraced both Blu Ivy and Jay Z while the moon man was passed along to a much deserving entertainer.

Picture taken by SouthernGal

Picture taken by SouthernGal from the On The Run Tour


What does this say about the rumor mill?

Who knows. Personally, I think every marriage has its ups and downs, and billionaires are no different. Of course the rumors will never subside as news outlets are fulfilling their rating quota in order to stay relevant.

However; what if they are headed for divorce and are trying to get along for the child? Again that would be their business. But it is important for people to understand that these two people still love and respect one another no matter their personal problems. I hope that they continue to raise their child among two people who will continue to love one another, even if it’s not a romantic love.

Rihanna Does The Ice Bucket Challenge, Will You?

Rihanna Does the Ice Bucket Challenge

Are you willing to do it?

The ice bucket challenge has encouraged many celebrities and “normal” people to dump ice cold water on themselves for the cause of ALS. Rihanna so eloquently accepted the challenge during the Monster Tour. Despite her sometimes nasty attitude, she has answered the challenge in support of a great cause. I am a huge Rihanna fan, so I respect her participation in the cause.

Recently, my husband’s staff at the University of California-Riverside nominated him to take part in the challenge. In the back of my mind I thought “Oh shit, he’s gonna nominate me next and I just got my hair braided.” The same day he was nominated, he brought home this huge bucket and went outside on the patio to execute the challenge. Our toddler stood at the door watching his daddy pour the bucket on himself, and decided he needed to be apart of it. So little junior pulled off his diaper and proceeded to piss everywhere. (Okay, maybe the diaper and pissing has nothing to do with this, but why am I the only one to suffer). 

After my nomination, I was given 48 hours to complete the challenge. My hubby had the nerve to nominate his mother as well. Really? You gonna nominate your mom? If I nominated my mother she would have said, “I’m sorry baby but mama’s bones don’t do so well in the cold.” I don’t want to complete the challenge so I know my mother won’t be participating in anything that causes her bones to ache.

Yall, I really don’t want to do this shit. I figure my husband has done the challenge for both of us. He can also send in the money for both of us too. I promise that I am not some selfish ass with no soul, but why the cold ass water? It has now been 72 hours since the challenge and I have held out as long as I can. Maybe the hubby has forgotten or will give me a pass.

Iggy Azalea Not So Fancy

Iggy Azalea is not so fancy after falling her ass off the damn stage at a pre-VMA event. We have seen all the big stars fall. Beyonce fell down about twenty steps during one of her concerts, so maybe its time for the fancy star to earn her stripes.

I only posted this video after finding out that home-chick was ok; then I allowed myself to laugh hysterically! I know y’all probably thinking I’m wrong, but Iggy isn’t the only fool who has taken a fall.

One day I was browsing the aisles of Office Depot and I found something that I liked. I bent down to grab the item, but I lost my footing and grabbed the shelf, which caused the entire shelf to fall forward on top of me. There I was lying on the floor with a damn shelf holding me in place. I yelled for help for about ten minutes before anyone came to rescue me. So, I feel entitled to laugh at people making fools of themselves.

I am affiliated with a gang

Damn, if he is in a gang so am I.

Damn, if he is in a gang so am I.

I wasn’t going to address the issues occurring in Ferguson, MO, but I thought it was hilarious that the media thought this police captain was flashing gang signs while interacting with the protesters. He is a member of a national Black fraternity known as Kappa Alpha Psi.

When I was in college, I was honored to be chosen for one of the national Black sororities. It enhanced my college experience and I learned a lot about my heritage, and I was able to volunteer in destitute communities. My Chapter of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc (1920) donated books and built water wells in Africa.

My sister always joked with me about sororities and fraternities being gangs, but they are far from it. It is about making a difference in the community and…well…I partied like there was no tomorrow. lmao!

Black fraternities and sororities were created because during the time of their creation, African American students were not allowed to join white fraternities. During those days, there was a lot of blatant racism and discrimination that excluded persons of color from joining certain groups on campuses. So of course, Black people formed their own.

So here we are in 2014 and people are unaware of certain fraternal symbols and ultimately assume the safest assumption, these must be gang signs. I ultimately fault the media because we assume that they are educated individuals. But I won’t attack lay persons who probably never been to college and are ignorant to Black Greek life. I thought it was sad that this individual, who was trying his best to calm looters and protesters was labeled a gang member because people did not understand his hand gestures.

My husband belongs to a rival black fraternity, Phi Beta Sigma, which is also the brother fraternity of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority. But I wanted to high light Kappa Alpha Psi just to demonstrate that it is a brotherhood of college educated men that has absolutely no affiliation with street gangs.

Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda Confuses

“He Can Tell I Ain’t Missing No Meals”

The release of Nicki Minaj’s official video for “Anaconda” has compiled 28 million views since being released…two days ago.  Now for all you guys who visit regularly, I am always talking shit about Miley Cyrus with her no-ass-at-all ass. I complain about her touching her crotch and all, but I didn’t know how to feel about Nicki’s video.

Offended or inspired?

Nicki’s video is a group ass-twerking phenomenon among men, and an inspiration for women with flat asses. However, would you want your daughter to watch some mess like this? I know I wouldn’t! But here is the thing, I like the video. It has given me inspiration to do those painful squats every night before bed. Can you be inspired and offended at the same time?

What is this b#tch secret?

What man you know will complain about all the gyrating asses in this video? The video reaction clips on Youtube will have you in tears. My question has always been, how in the hell did she get her ass like that? I can’t be the only straight female who wants to know. What the hell is her secret?

What are your thoughts?

Toxic Friends

Toxic Friends

Have you ever had a friendship with someone who turned into one of those toxic persons who enjoy reveling in other people’s pain? Sometimes the friendship will never work because a person’s personality changes to shit.

After severing a life long relationship with a so-called best friend it takes its toll, but in the end you are reminded why you severed the relationship in the first place. Your childhood friend transforms into a total bitch that you can’t trust worth shit. You can tell her one thing in a phone call, and in the next five minutes you get calls from people enraged because they just heard the shit you told the bitch in confidence. If you have known someone since childhood, doesn’t that at least give you an hour of loyalty?


After a few years of broken communication with this person, you finally decide that maybe having a relationship on Facebook is safe and appropriate. Well, the problem with this idea is…every post this person writes enrages you to a point that you are commenting on shit you would never express publicly.  The rage that you continue to feel inside could derive from the inevitable loneliness that you felt once that relationship dissolved, and it could be that this person’s personality is severely infuriating because you have grown to love life without the drama.

Whatever the reason…your ass is unfriended!

Crazy Racist Lady

“You God Damn Son of A Ni**er Loving Atheist B#tch”

With all the racial tension in the US, this crazy and obviously drunk bitch was caught showing her ass. LMAO!

“I’m gonna god damn kill you”

Yall, this is some hilarious shit! Officially the circus act of the decade.

Rihanna named World’s Wildest Style Icon by W Magazine

Rihanna named World's Wildest Style Icon

This chic always seems to amaze me with her fashion sense. Awesome!

Rihanna was named the World’s Wildest Style Icon by W Magazine yesterday; an honor that arrived only a few months after Rihanna was pegged as 2014’s Fashion Icon.

Rihanna quite often struts the line between appropriate and possible lewdness. Her Twitter account is the ultimate vehicle for her to display her most outrageous outfits or barely-there moments while jetting around the world. Recently, Rihanna was captured sporting her intimates and boxers to a club, and now we are gifted with a more riveting image of the hip-hop princess.

In her recent shoot, she presented her wild persona, but the elegance and natural dominance of the scene was the element that validated her rise as a fashion icon. The W Magazine shoot asserted the singer’s talent for capturing the most enduring and novel photographs as she posed in a Dancing with the Wolves inspired motif. She appears as an African princess draped with beautiful animal fur and tribal jewelry. In one photograph, Rihanna is accompanied by wolves strategically placed as her companions rather than represent a predatory element.

Rihanna’s W photo shoot progressed from an Afrocentric theme to a historically vibrant narrative that told a story about the most beautiful models of African descent, Naomi Campbell and Iman. The two beauties accompany Rihanna in the celebration of women of color who are deemed fashion icons around the world.

It is only fitting that Rihanna join the ranks of super models and notable fashion icons as she has a take-charge personality in the fashion-industry. The fashionista launched her own clothing line, River Island in 2013, and debuted at New York’s Fashion Week the same year. If there is one thing we know about Rhianna, it is her excellent fashion sense, and bravery when decking herself out in the most talked about garb on the market.

Photo Credits by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott.

Nicki Minaj “Baby Got Back”



Recently, Miley got us all roweled up about her masturbating and molesting Abraham Lincoln with her genitalia, but what are your thoughts about Nicki Minaj and the art for her next single, Anaconda?

I was offended by Miley showing off her nasty azz twat during her concert, but I’m not too offended by this photo.

This may sound a little biased, but let me explain…

The female body can be viewed as a work of art (not Miley, she looks just nasty). The little waist and huge azz is a symbol of health and beauty in the Black community, especially in the south. I have been trying to get my shape like this since I was a teenager. So far I have failed on all accounts, but seems like Nicki is doing just fine in that department.

Don’t laugh at my next comment but, I think it’s a positive step forward for young women to see that you can still be beautiful with a humongous azz. What are your thoughts? lol

Miley Cyrus sparks FCC Investigation

Miley Cyrus sparks FCC Investigation

Miley Cyrus has generated more negative attention today as the FCC received several complaints following the NBC airing of the Banger’s Tour. Although the crowd seemed ecstatic when Miley and her colorful entourage hit the stage, adults were obviously offended by the lewd acts performed on stage. If you viewed at least the first 30 seconds of the NBC special, you have an idea of what the concert will represent from the beginning to the end. Miley starts the show wearing a red leotard with white fur around her neck. Weird is not the word you would use for her peculiar appearance; it seemed that she was going for an image catering solely to young girls and confused little boys. The problem with this type of television special is the colliding themes:

  • Girls just want to have fun
  • Look at me touch my vagina

There is nothing wrong with having fun and incorporating kid-friendly characters in your concert, but performing sex acts on stage in front of these young girls should have raised some red flags with NBC executives. Were they under the impression that this concert was acceptable on television? She has an entire number dedicated to paying too much attention to her groin area. NBC should be fined for their stupidity.

Miley Cyrus Sparks FCC Investigation

And she touched it too..nasty azz!


Jay Z alleged mistress taunts Beyonce with new music

Jay Z‘s alleged mistress taunts Beyonce with new music

Amid the continuous rumors regarding the marriage of power couple, Jay Z and Beyonce, an unknown rapper chick, Liv, has come forward proclaiming a past emotional relationship with the rap mogul.

To add shame to her cause, the female rapper sampled Outkast’s Sorry Ms. Jackson to taunt Queen Bey. In addition to numerous public appearances, Liv has released a corresponding music video with the titled song, Sorry Ms. Carter. The unknown rapper went on to profess the opportunity of having extramarital relations with Jay Z, but out of respect for Beyonce she chose to thwart the relationship. Liv also criticized Beyonce for teaching young girls how to “ride a surfboard” instead of participating in more socially acceptable activities.

Allegedly, Liv and Mr. Carter shared a joint interest in one another, but the relationship never progressed to a physical extramarital affair. After reading the plethora of gossip columns focused primarily on the supposed cheating scandal, it is obvious that any sane person would dismiss these accusations as nothing but the ramblings of a starving artist desperate for her ten minutes of fame.

The hip hop power couple has maintained an unsolicited media dominance after the infamous elevator mishap in which Solange Knowles rendered a violent beat-down onto Jay Z for unknown reasons. Since the beginning of theirOn The Run Tour, Jay Z and Beyonce have received an overhaul of media coverage focusing on the durability of their marriage. The release of Sorry Ms. Carter has further ignited the rumors of a failing marriage among the Carters.

The Bey Hive will enjoy ripping this woman’s non-existent career to shreds.

Grandma’s Pet Tits

As Beyonce says, "Goddamn, Goddamn"

As Beyonce says, “Goddamn, Goddamn”


“Goddamn, Goddamn”

Americans can always agree on one thing and it usually involves tits and dogs, they are loved unconditionally; however, there is a such thing as crossing the line. I for one appreciate all types of art, but ain’t this bout a b#tch? In Florida, people are getting prison time for sagging their pants, but this…whoever she is…is photographed and sent on her way. With this much saggage (made up word) her ass should have been locked away permanently.

Don’t be shy about expressing your disgust. I am still in shock that someone would offend pets around the world with sagging bullets hanging at her waist. Officially the circus act of the day! Damn!

The ‘One Lovely Blog Award’ Nomination

The ‘One Lovely Blog Award’ Nomination

One Lovely Blog Award I have been nominated by a fellow blogger to receive the One Lovely Blog Award. I received the following message on my About the Circus page:

“Hi I nominated your blog for the One Lovely Blog Award. You should have received a ping for the post I wrote but let me know if you did not! I love a writer who is as opinionated as I am!!!”
 This is so flattering! Thank you for nominating “Life is a Damn Circus.” My blog is all about looking at the world as the circus it really is. You really don’t have to attend a circus to find the weirdest spectacles on the planet. Sometimes you must only venture next door, or just walk outside your home. No matter the outcome, thank you for highlighting my blog and I wish you will return for more circus acts!! SouthernGal- grand master of the circus…

Rules for Nomination:

  • Nominated blogger (Me) must link back to person (celatime) who nominated them.
  • List Rules of Nomination
  • Upload Award Pic as Featured Image!
  • List 7 random but awesome facts about yourself
  • Choose an unspecified number of blogs to nominate

my header

 Seven Facts About the Grand Master?

I found that there are moments when I fit into the category of a circus act!

2. I’ve discovered that the most important things in life are family, and that’s it!
     Why dwell on the small stuff?
 3. I’ve discovered that you can truly find a circus act in your family or at your place of
      employment. Laugh at life, because life truly is a circus.
4. I’ve found that I turned into a nerd while no one was looking. WTH?
 5. When I put my mind to something, there is no stopping me.
6. I had a dog named ‘queen elizabeth'; no offense to the queen. The decision was based
     on Elizabeth I, a woman who reigned despite the malcontent for her sex. (yeah, I’m
 7. I have been in school FOREVER! Writing a dissertation is the most horrific
      experience EVER!

The Circus Nominated the Following Blogs

The blogs that have been nominated are those that are exceptional in the blogging community. These bloggers have opinions that are true to their values no matter the fall out. I sincerely wish everyone good luck and keep blogging no matter the outcome!

Letter to Michael Vick Protesters

Letter to Michael Vick Protesters


Dear Protesters,

In 2007, Michael Vick was convicted and incarcerated for dog fighting and animal torture. He was sentenced to two years in prison. Since being released he has turned his life around, donated money to animal charities, and stayed out of trouble in general. The question that many people are asking is, exactly what does this man have to do to get animal rights activists out of his azzhole? Isn’t this a country of second chances? His acts were horrific, but it seems that animal rights activists would only be satisfied if he received the death penalty.

As an animal lover, the outrage was present years ago when this crime was committed. Now, not so much. There are convicted sex offenders living in our neighborhoods and our political system is breaking at the seams with right-wing nut jobs. At this point, can’t we move the hell on?

Recently he hosted a comedy event in Louisiana, which was not related to animals in the least. In the off season, many football players generate income by making appearances around the country. Well, seven years after dog fighting, this man can’t even make a living without animal rights activist intervening. We get it! No one supports dog fighting. But damn, he fights dogs no longer, so maybe move the hell on.

Hypocrisy much? There is an entire season for hunters to senselessly murder animals, maybe you should go and protest their azzes. And if I’m not mistaken, Louisiana has legalized cock fighting as a darn sport. Can y’all make your way to the local politician who supports systemic animal cruelty?


The Host of the Damn Circus

It’s okay to stay your azz home!

Its okay to stay your azz home

Girl, its okay to stay your azz home!

There are just some occasions that calls for you to stay your azz home. If you have an anklet monitor while awaiting trial, maybe its just not your time to party! Raise your hand if you would have opted out of clubbing because of your pending criminal case? LMAO

Officially the circus act of the day!

Beyonce Illuminati Queen

Have you ever read a Beyonce article, then clicked on another related article because you wanted to know more about the mega star? Well, as an avid reader, and a fan of Mrs. Carter, I find myself reading about her various projects quite frequently. Unfortunately, when you click these links for further reading, you tend to run into the craziest conspiracy theories on the net.


  1. Beyonce didn’t give birth to Blue IVY Carter: Y’all really! Why in the hell would she fake a pregnancy? Some circus acts theorize that she didn’t want to carry her child out of fear she would lose her figure! Viewing the comments about this conspiracy, I am convinced that people are out of their minds. If I was Beyonce, I would have taped the baby exiting my vagina during birth just to establish the hard and disgusting truth about my pregnancy. If that means showing my lady parts to the world, then so be it. (Just Kidding)


  1. Beyonce made a blood sacrifice to the Illuminati: Again, crazy! Why is it so hard to believe that Beyonce became famous through hard work and initiative. Have y’all heard this girl sing? Have y’all seen her perform? She is just awesome plan and simple! So when I see comments stating that she had to make a blood sacrifice to become successful, I just want to slap some people.


  1. Beyonce worships the devil and becomes possessed while performing: I have heard actual educated people proclaim that this woman becomes possessed when she performs. All I could do was shake my head because only an idiot would think like this. Let’s think about it for real! As soon as Beyonce hits the stage, an evil spirit possesses her body, to what? What is the purpose of a dancing and singing demon? lmao

Fox News Reporter Vows to Fck Missing Girl When Found

Fox News Reporter Vows to Fuck Missing Girl When Found

Really, Fox News!!

“Yeah, I’d fck her, I’d fck her right in the pussy!”

There are just no words to explain the disgust that I felt when I saw this video. Apparently, a Fox News reporter thought the camera was off and decided to say the most disgusting things you can say regarding a victim, or anyone for that matter. I know that we all say things when we think no one is listening, but to say that you would fck a missing person when found, that just reveals how much of a monster you really are.

Women, watch out for this charmer!!! Our circus act of the day and future serial rapist!!

Chicken Nuggets Gone Wild!

Chicken Nuggets Gone Wild!

When I’m seeking breakfast at McDonald’s, and they tell me that breakfast has ended, I admit…I get a little pissed off. What I have never done, however, is physically attack a McDonalds’ employee for a menu change. It’s not personal, it’s just their preference.

This particular customer must have visited a fast food joint when they were still serving breakfast because she was “jonesing” (maybe miss spelled) for some damn chicken nuggets. Whatever the case, she has been labeled the Circus Freak of the Day!


Check out our pages!

YouTube Wall of Circus Freaks

About the Circus

Need a Writer?


Go Back To Your Country…N-Word!


Ok, ok! Here we go again! Racism in its most modern and blatant form. Do some adults fail to understand that whatever is caught on a video phone will inevitably go viral if its offensive enough? Can’t say that I was surprised by this video, especially after the previous one last week. Do they not understand, using the n-word just makes you look ridiculous.

I don’t know about other African Americans, but I don’t have another country to go back to. So when you’re white and you make this demand, you’re just really telling me to return to Texas with my fellow Texans. This is a nation of immigrants and descendants of slaves b*tch, you need to read a book!

To be fair, I don’t agree with the chick, apparently an adolescent, following the evil crow around, and that is the only relief this creature of the devil will get from me. I want this n-word menace to be utterly humiliated on social media and around the world. Can you make that happen! Share this story on your own blogs!

Officially the circus act of the day!



Dranking Watermelon?

Dranking Watermelon

Did you guys know what “dranking watermelon” really meant in Beyonce’s song? Raise your hand if you thought Beyonce was singing about drinking a fruity alcoholic beverage in her lyrics “I be dranking, watermelon.” I promise I thought this was a watermelon margarita, or some expensive drink that celebrities drink all the time while chilling on the beach. Never thought it was this nasty!

Michelle Williams Say Yes…


This is a very encouraging song with a wonderful message. But why are people criticizing Michelle for being so skinny? She has a medical condition you guys so leave it alone.

On another note, its nice that she teamed up with Beyonce and Kelly to build an audience, but in every video or pic, the shot is completely focused on Beyonce. I understand that Michelle isn’t as famous as Bey and Kelly, but it seems that she is still standing on Beyonce’s coat tails to make a successful career for herself. I wish the best for her, but girl please…we ain’t crazy!

Blue IVY Carter Hair Petition


I would never publicly criticize a child’s parents, and nor do I believe that starting a petition to demand parents to comb a child’s hair is appropriate. But since I am a woman with a small child with thick natural hair, I’m not understanding why they just don’t put it in a pony tail. Blue IV is a beautiful baby and she is always looking gorgeous, but I do notice that her hair be looking a hot sh*tty mess.

I understand that babies hate having their hair combed, but she has to get used to it. You must keep it moisturized so that when you brush her hair it won’t be such a painful process. I haven’t cut my son’s hair yet, so he walks around with an Afro sometimes. Most of the time we just put in one pony tail. Yes my child squirms and puts his hand in the way, but I just continue brushing it until it looks manageable.

I’m a first time mom so I understand what Beyonce is going through. Although I do think more should be done with her hair, at the end of the day, Blue IV is not my child. And in this case, it is important that this ridiculous petition be put to bed immediately. Not only is it a waist of time, but it is very hurtful to a mother.  So, my clowns visiting the circus, encourage those idiots to take that sh*t down!

Famous Titties versus Mommy Titties

Public Tits vs. Breast Feeding Tits

Famous Titties versus Mommy Titties

The internet has been raging about the scandalous, yet illustrious red-carpet gown worn by Rih Rih, our R&B princess. I must admit that she is one of my favorite artists so this had absolutely nothing to do with her scantily fashionable faux pas. The hypocrisy here is the growing population of men and women who glamorize famous titties, but criticize motherly titties. I am so sick of people saying things like:

  • “why can the baby wait to eat when the mother gets home?” (Well, the problem here is, when a baby is hungry, you want to nourish your child immediately, so screw you and your ignorance with a cocaine laced dildo.)
  • “no one wants to see that.” (But it was quite okay for Rhi Rhi to put her tits and azz on display for the entire world to observe and rejoice.)

At the end of the day, fu#k all hypocrites and stop giving moms a hard azz time for feeding an infant in public when breasts and vaginas are all over the damn place.

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz

Starbucks Etiquette Can Kiss My Azz!

Lately, with the increase in stress and responsibilities, I’ve found a need to visit my local Starbucks for that mid-day pick-me-up. Today was an awkward day for me as the hostess or Starbucks broad taking my order became very irritated with me because of the way I ordered my drink.
Me: “Can I have a Caramel Macchiato? And make that non-fat please. Oh, and please add an extra shot of espresso.”
Starbucksy: “Tsk…just pull around please!”
I was very shocked by the obvious irritation in her voice, but I didn’t understand what I had done so wrong that caused her to suck her damn teeth so aggressively. So I drove around not knowing what to expect. She handed me my drink and then…
Starbucksy: “Next time you just need to say Caramel Macchiato, light. I didn’t understand the order at first.”
Not only was she pissed off with my ignorant Starbucks etiquette, the b*tch checked me right on the spot. I don’t expect to get checked when I’m spending my hard earned money on some damn overpriced caffeine with low fat milk.
Is there a big difference from non-fat and light? And really, any idiot can put that together. I thought we learned context clues in the third grade.
Obviously, there is an entire Starbucks culture of coffee fiends who have made their own lingo to specify their desires.

Life is a damn circus, and this broad is the circus act of the day!

Obsessed With a High Functioning Sociopath?

Obsessed with a highly functioning sociopath?

Does it surprise you that I have a rather shallow and artificial addiction to a high functioning sociopath. (I’m not the fan that attends book signings or write fan mail; I just don’t have the motivation for all that) But a girl can inform her readers about how awesome this show was. You can check it out on Netflex and Amazon.

Where can I find another epic psychological drama?

Although the television show Sherlock has concluded after three years of closely examining every miniacle case and utter annoyances experienced by the character played by my artificial boyfriend, Benedict Cumberbatch, I have decided that nothing has taken its place to fill the void that is my need for an epic psychological drama.

Sherlock’s Most Famous Quotes (Per the BBC series)

  • “Boring! Good bye!”
  • “I’m not a psychopath…I’m a high functioning sociopath; do the research”
  • “I assumed you didn’t scrub your floors by the state of her knees…”(priceless)
  • “shut up”
  • “This involves a serial killer, there’s always something to look forward to.”
  • Prospective Client: “I think my husband is having an affair!” Sherlock: “Yes”
  • “Anderson, don’t talk out loud you lower the IQ of the entire street.”
  • “Of course I’m a show off, that’s what we do.”

I’m Not Racist…My Cousin is Black!

Initial Version

The Crackhead’s Version

This idiot admitted to being Bipolar and confessed that “they” are trying to take her kids, oh and…her COUSIN is black. Well, let me tell you something lady, your black cousin knows exactly how you feel about her/him, and will hopefully confront your Bipolar azz before Children’s Services returns your kids.

Let us give her the benefit of the doubt and he actually did call her a…white cracker/ crackhead stripper (lmmfao), he would be soooo wrong for that. I don’t condone racism in no way, shape, or form.

However, if we really think about the entire ordeal, who seems more credible? The sinister n-word who aggressively started the ignition of his car, or the bipolar chick with the stringy black hair who has problems with Children’s Services?

Top 3 signs house wifery ain’t for you

Young woman with rubber gloves screaming

Continue reading

Scandal is back bitches!

Photo by Mark Winter/Getty Images

Tonight Scandal fans will be glued to their flat screens as Olivia Pope faces a media blitz that may end her stellar reputation and career. Continue reading

Ciara: Super Turned Up

This is my shit, as I write this late-ass paper (Qualitative studies)! Hope that baby stay sleep for at least another hour so I can get it done.Then I’m taking him to the doctor, and back to this late ass paper again. The wonderful life of motherhood, wiferyhood, and doctoratehood rolled into one.

But a B*tch is Super Turned Up!

Sadistically Me




This is a post from my fiction blog series Sadistically Me.

The thickness of the trees seemed to gravitate toward me as if purposely obstructing my path through Glendale’s private forest. My heart was pounding in my chest, and the hand held dagger, recently used, was slippery from the blood on the hilt. My breathing was labored and significantly decreased my speed. Damn it! Daniel was getting away.

Daniel was silent and quick in his desperate attempt to flee the inevitable. The only evidence of his presence was the movement of the long branches that were extremely sharp as they scraped the sides of my perfect face, recoiling from the momentum of his speed. Continue reading

Chris Brown: Do we still care?


Here we go again! I must first off by saying that I do not support domestic violence in no way, shape or form, but in the comparison Chris just made today,  I keep thinking why are we still Chris Bashing?

Apparently, Chris Brown asked why is he villainous in the present due to his mistake he has paid for in the past, and Jay Z has been placed on a pedestal despite his history of selling drugs and being found guilty of stabbing someone.

I admit was pissed off and disappointing in Chris Brown when this incident first occurred years ago, but now, Rhianna has moved on and Chris Brown has been punished. Rhianna continues to wag her vagina with those skin tight-azz panties, and taking risque photos looking like a tranny-harlot at a Renaissance festival.

If we don’t leave this man alone after being punished for his crimes, what does that say about us? What is the purpose of the criminal justice system if this man is sentenced, does his time, and still considered a menace to society.

There are mothers to teenage girls who complain about his music and his overall influence. Well, that is YOUR responsibility as the parent to patrol your child’s listening habits. It is also the parent’s responsibility to talk to their children about domestic violence and explain the gravity of what Chris Brown did and why people are upset with his actions. There are some parents who want the outside world to teach their children everything, this is a horrible idea.

However, it is no way our business to stop him from making a living. If other people still want to listen his music, then allow them the right as an American citizen to listen to this controversial person. You have the right to boycott the shit out of him  just like Jay and Bey.

Getting to that, I love Jay Z and the image he and Beyonce portray in the present, but I remember when he had his scandals, so when he and Bey were boycotting award shows due to Chris Brown’s actions I was like, are you serious? But, I also had to consider that Rihanna was his friend and colleague so of course that was his approach to providing support. Even Beyonce went on CNN with her country azz and fakedly reached out in support of Rhianna (CNN though? How you support someone on CNN? Why she just didn’t go to her damn house.) 

Either way, right now in the present, all of it should be squashed. Everyone has returned to their normal role. Rihanna (I’m sorry if I’ve misspelled her name a thousand and one ways but oh well) got her Birthday Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake on with Chris and now everything is all good.

The Green Card Game: I Married An African Physician by Tina Webster

I must say that I am already hooked on this book and it hasn’t been released. I absolutely love it…and I haven’t read it. Author Tina Webster has done an outstanding job advertising her emotional and financial trauma stemming from a conniving, manipulative, treacherous, and deceitful demon-esque hoe-bag of a husband from the mother land. I was left with multiple questions and no answers, and now I am feeling disappointed and betrayed by having to wait until November….NOVEMBER!!!! And another thing…

Now yall, we have all worked with men from Africa. SOME of them (trying to be politically correct, but personally I think its most but who the fck cares) do have their complains about African American women. One dude I worked with said that AA women were dirty and ignorant. Now I don’t believe this for one moment because my luscious ass just got out of the damn shower and I’m a PhD candidate. So stanky and dumb can’t fit just anyone’s azz. I wonder what he would say about Miley Cirus? Is that stank? Is that dumb? Home chick fits both descriptions.

Okay, a little off topic. The Green Card Game: I Married An African Physician, will be available in November and I will be the first customer!!!

Check out Mama Don’t by Tina Webster

Young, dumb, full of cum in past relationships

Young, dumb, full of cum in past relationships

Young, dumb, full of cum in past relationships

The single gal era is the time to celebrate being an adult, making a little money, and being young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships. Sometimes I dwell on past relationships because I see how wonderful my life is with my hubby and son. I’ve concluded that I was a bit of a harlot in my younger years. Well, I just turned 31 so I guess it wasn’t too long ago, soooooo…..what the hell ever just read my damn story about being young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships.

Young, dumb, full of cum in past relationships: Boring Dude

I experienced my first adult relationship with a guy I thought I would marry. However, we were NEVER  meant to be at all. He enjoyed blues and jazz, and I enjoyed everything but. All in all, I grew up and found that he was boring the shit out of me, and I was standing in his way of messing around with other girls. That’s crazy because it never seemed to stop me even a little. I was Young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships.

Ever get engaged while in a serious relationship with another guy?

The end of the relationship wasn’t purely his fault. I have to admit, I dabbled in a few love affairs during our time in coupledom. Actually, at one point while in this relationship, I spontaneously got engaged to an old friend from high school. He returned from the Navy on family leave and he looked really nice in a uniform. Ever marry someone because they look great in a suit? Well yah girl here was on the verge. It must have been fate right? WRONG as hell! When he shipped back off, I forced myself to cry tears of sadness and then a sistah got dumped. It was expected. I knew that once he sailed off to his Navy boat we were over because I never gave up the goodies before he left. I was young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships but I wasn’t an idiot. It was all a big show just to get in my pants.

My husband says when you’re young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships that type of shyt happens.

Navy man was out of the picture and I was over him like in a week or two. Now that I think about it, I should have pawned the engagement ring for some high fashion stilettos instead of returning it like a lady with class. Furthermore, I was still in a relationship with boring dude, who I decided to recommit my time and love to permanently.

When I visited him at school, I would clean, do his laundry, ANYTHING I could do to make up  for what I did and to maintain his love for me. I gave all of myself, and it didn’t work out. This led me to eventually shut down and become a feminist, but in due time I will get to that. I have to squeeze in the fact that I accidentally-on-purpose started a relationship with another individual after recommitting to boring guy. Yeah, I was young, dumb, and full of cum in past relationships!

Ever jump into a relationship because of an attraction to someone’s hair?

The new love/like interest was different. He was a bad boy and I was attracted to his huge and fluffy Afro. Too bad nothing else was huge and fluffy on him that I could actually enjoy. I built an entire relationship on an attraction to someone’s hair. The relationship was so superficial that the only thing I can remember was a moment when I visited his grandmother’s house. We were just chilling and watching television when I asked to use the restroom, and the grandmother said she was out of toilet paper. Her next statement left me speechless. I would have rather left and pissed myself on the way home than to comply with her recommendation.

“Oh baby, here is some newspaper, just rub it together real fast and it’s just like toilet paper. I use it all the time. ” She was actually rubbing newspaper together for the purpose of me using it.  I think Afro man saw my mortification when his grandmother began shoving the daily news at me for toileting purposes. I had to end that tragic “relationship” right then and there. I was young, dumb, and full of cum in my past relationships but I wasn’t desperate.

To be continued…